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MENTAL HEALTH AND MISCARRIAGE

We haven’t seen them that much in public so I suppose it’s easy to keep something like this private, much easier than it would have been in the Royal Family.

“Meghan’s probably using this as an opportunity for other women to talk about miscarriage in such an open way.”

Meghan Markle and Prince Harry

Meghan Markle news: Praise for New York Times miscarriage piece written by Duchess (Image: GETTY)

Meghan Markle, Prince Harry and Archie Harrison

Meghan Markle news: Shared her account of suffering a miscarriage in July (Image: GETTY)

It is brave of Meghan to discuss this common issue that affects many women.

Around 10 to 15 in every 100 pregnancies end in miscarriage.

Most take place in the first 12 weeks of pregnancy.

The NHS said: “The majority of miscarriages cannot be prevented.”

It added: “For most women, a miscarriage is a one-off event and they go on to have a successful pregnancy in the future.”

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Dr Hillary said on Lorraine: “It is always tragic when this happens.

“The grieving can affect the rest of the woman’s life but also affects the father.

“It’s much more common the older you get. The loss of a child often causes symptoms afterward, such as a feeling of guilt.

“Often there is a feeling of failure, difficulty sleeping, loss of appetite. Talking about it is a real therapy and so is the memorial service so that the child is never forgotten but there is permission given to move on. And life has to move on.”

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Tommy’s midwife Sophie King told Express.co.uk: “Baby loss at any stage in pregnancy is one of the most heart-breaking things a family can experience – and as Meghan Markle said, it’s experienced by many but talked about by few. 1 in 4 pregnancies ends in loss, but it’s a real taboo in society, so mothers like Meghan sharing their stories is a vital step in breaking down that stigma and shame.

“Meghan’s essay praises the bravery of parents who share their stories, and those who prefer to grieve privately can still find comfort and connection in reading about others’ experiences.

“Her honesty and openness today send a powerful message to anyone who loses a baby: this may feel incredibly lonely, but you are not alone. Friends and family, doctors and midwives, all of us at support organisations like Tommy’s; we’re here.”

How can you support someone who has suffered a miscarriage?

Tommy’s is a charity that funds research into miscarriage, stillbirth and premature birth.

It recommends: “You may worry that you don’t know what to say or think that it’s best not to say anything. However, the simple act of acknowledging someone’s loss can really help. Just let them know that you’re sorry for what has happened and that you are there for them.”

The advice went on: “There are some things that are commonly said to someone after a miscarriage that aren’t very helpful.

“It’s natural to want to make someone feel better and try to be encouraging about the future and their chances of having a healthy baby. However, things like ‘everything happens for a reason’, ‘you can always try for another one’ or ‘at least you weren’t too far along’ can be really upsetting.”

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Dr Şirin Atçeken – an EMDR specialist at WeCure – specialises in psychology, PTSD therapy and mental health. They also spoke to Express.co.uk about this deeply sensitive issue.

What feelings does the mother have after a miscarriage?

Dr Şirin said: “Loss contains a variety of complex emotions; Such as disappointment, sadness, desperation, anger, guilt, despair. This loss is also a loss of identity for the woman as well as a loss of hopes and dreams for the future. In this context, the meanings given to the miscarriage can make this experience very shocking and traumatic for the person.

“Although we are talking about an unborn baby or even a fetus, the body prepares itself for this experience from the first moments of pregnancy, there are many changes in the body, hormones are secreted; the mother begins to attach to her baby. This ending is a traumatic experience. The woman who experiences a miscarriage and loss finds herself in the feeling of ‘mourning’.

“The most common problems I observe with women experiencing miscarriage (of course if the necessary support is not received and the grief is not completed); depression, anxiety disorders, panic attacks, post-traumatic stress disorder, physical problems (such as head, back, neck pain, stomach problems, skin rashes), triggering past losses, hopelessness about the future, worries about having a child again, chronic stress and tension, intolerance in daily life, relational problems (especially deterioration in the relationship between husband and wife) and incomplete grief symptoms.”

What about fathers?

“All these emotional, mental and psychological processes are also valid for future fathers. Although prospective fathers do not experience the physical changes of pregnancy in their bodies, recent studies show that fathers are also affected emotionally and psychologically by their spouse’s pregnancy process,” Dr Şirin said.

“However, in society, these feelings of fathers are ignored and suppressed, and it seems as if this is a process that only concerns women. Most of the time, the man who cannot mourn and his feelings are ignored expresses this as physical problems and anger.”

They went on: “Family and social support of the person, especially the support of her spouse, is very important in the grief and recovery process. Moreover, the same mourning, loss, and sadness are also valid for the spouse. Being able to talk freely about the subject, to understand their feelings, to share with each other, and to be understood by others also play an important role in the healthy overcome of the process. Thus, this great trauma of stress and loss can be made to strengthen the relationship rather than erode it.

“If despite all this, a woman who is experiencing a miscarriage cannot overcome this, I recommend her to seek professional support. Otherwise, unreserved grief, depression, anxiety, and stress can be transferred to their future children in some way.”

Expert website Very Well Family recommends fathers talk through their feelings, or, if they don’t feel comfortable with that – write them down.

They were urged not to rush through the grieving progress.

It said: “You may think you or your partner are done grieving, but it comes back full force a few days later. This is natural, and you must give each other all of the time it needs.”

How can family members support a mother who lost her baby to miscarriage?

Dr Şirin said: “The most important thing family members can do is to support the mother who lost her baby.

“While doing this, it is necessary to listen to her feelings, to allow her to express herself.

“It is important to be with her and listen to her sadness.”